Julie Chibbaro

My life has been turned upside down by three feet of snow, which pulled down power lines, cutting my energy source, and cracking trees over my car, garage, and front and backyard, and still, I'm thinking about writing. Wondering how one might write this recent scene -- in the dark at 9:00 at night, the driveway too deep in snow to get the car out, the child asleep upstairs, no heat/hot water, trying to find the candles, flashlights, not scared, not yet.

Why can't I just live it?

But something hit me earlier in the day, and that was how much writing is like laundry. A first draft is like a closet full of clean clothes - ahh, nice and fresh. Then comes getting those clothes dirty, and having them collect as you use them. Looking closer, finding the stains, wearing the stuff, getting comfy in it, then too comfy, then just plain smelly. Finally having to clean them again. This metaphor itself is getting a little stinky. Not quite working perfectly -- I'll have to go back and rethink it. Revise. But I'm not going to, not here, because this is a blog, and it's about showing my process, right?

Today, I'm thinking about disasters, not laundry, though I've been in the same clothes for three days. Is is just writers who think about writing about disasters while they're happening? Or does everyone interpret the world that way? Like when the twin towers fell, people said, "it was like a movie."

I'm going to try the laundry metaphor again. Writing is like any routine or habit -- brushing your teeth, doing dishes -- if you don't keep at it, don't keep cleaning (I guess that I'm thinking of editing as cleaning, polishing) you will just have a big old rotten mess on your hands, and that ain't good writing.

In order to create, you have to be willing to make a mess. Problem with me is, I don't like messes. I'm a neat person, always chasing after my daughter or husband to pick up their crumbs or socks. I like order.

This is my wish list for writing a novel. 1. I get an idea. 2. I plan out the outline. 3. I write the book chapter by chapter the way I planned it out so cleanly. 4. It's done.

This is how it really goes. 1. I get an idea. (No, no, wait, scratch that, it's not working). 2. I get an idea (no, I hear a character in my head), (no, I don't like that one either). 3. I get sick of myself so I close my eyes and just start writing something, anything, for God's sake or I'll go nuts. 4. Scratch that. 5. I write 40 interesting pages, then find out they're not so interesting. 6. I chuck them.

No wonder it takes me so long to write a book.

I got my revisions back from my husband on my Sister novel yesterday. Not so bad, all stuff I can handle. So I am working on that today. At 130 pages, I feel like I'm about halfway there. Pray that I find order in the madness.

I'm not gonna take it anymore. Nope, I'm not gonna let everyone else have all the fun with this blogging stuff. I've decided today, here and now, that I am going to explore this dirty, messy process called writing.

I'm working on two novels -- I think I am always working on one or two novels, and have been for the past 15 years, and now I want to open the floor. I mean, the floor below me. I want to see if anyone else is down there, having the same struggles as me. Are you there?

Part of this blob, I mean blog, will be a constant examination of the writing process, and part will be a questioning of the world around me. I want to have guest writers come and blog about their writing process as well. Then, the world will be transparent, a see-through place with no mysteries, and I'll know everything there is to know about this bewildering process. Right? Because even though I've got some novels under my belt, and stories and articles, I still feel like I don't know how to do it.

This was my process today: In 2008, I started an Anti-Fame book. As a kid, I went to Performing Arts H.S., the Fame school, and had a terrible time. As a full-grown, adult writer person, I thought, what a great idea for a YA novel! I wrote about 30 pgs, then stopped to go to France for a month. When I came back, my life changed (my sister got very ill and died). I spent all of last year recovering and working on a novel about sisters (now only half done, I will discuss in a later blog). Recently, I decided I'd better start a new YA book. I thought about writing about the building of the Brooklyn Bridge, read a few fat books on the subject, only to realize I had no real story. Yes, lots of scandal, and accidental deaths, but nothing I could hang on to. So, I sifted through my icons, only to find my Anti-Fame book! Hmmm, I thought. Well, why don't I work on that? So, for the past few days, while my husband reads the 140 pgs. of my sister book, I've been working on the Anti-Fame book, just to keep busy.

Is any of this making sense?

Still doesn't get to the meat of the process, does it? I think writers work with the same themes over and over again. Each writer has their own recurring stories. Mine are death, missing siblings, broken families, missing parents. I keep seeing these things in my work, and can't seem to avoid them, or they just keep coming out of me like that. I suppose it has to do with my life story.

I would like to hear from other writers, just a peek into your work life. What is your messy job like? The messier the better. In fact, if it makes no sense at all, that's fine too -- I can completely relate!